For the well-meaning mother, many stationery stores offer fill-in-the-blank thank you notes for children. They will commonly read:
Dear ______, Thank you for the _______. It is very ________. Sincerely, ________.
While these do promote the sending of thank you notes, they do an atrocious job of the primary function of a thank you note, which is to express genuine gratitude towards the recipient. These "training-wheel" cards also don't train children how to write thank you notes, they merely enforce the idea that the note is a receipt for products tendered.
If thank you note writing by children is truly to be encouraged, one must first show them how important it is by being a good example. Whenever a gift is received, tell and show children that a thank you note is being written promptly. If a family receives something, have all the children contribute by drawing a card or letter.
Start With "Please" and "Thank You"
If a child is still learning to say “please” and “thank you,” a very effective trick from Miss Manners (Judith Martin) is to refuse to release whatever item is requested from one's hand until the child has said, “thank you.”
Allow an Illiterate Child to Compose a Thank You Card
If a child cannot yet write but is old enough to understand the reason for saying “thank you,” have them dictate their message to an adult (or older child). Once written, it should be read it back to author and handed over to be signed. Letting the author draw or add other artwork to their message helps them feel like they are the real author of the message!
Encourage Thank You Note Writing With Special Stationery
If a child is old enough to write, they should have dedicated thank you stationery and a pen that they can only use when writing thank you notes. This stationery can be special, expensive stationery dedicated to thank-yous or a box of thank you cards that are blank on the inside. By valuing the materials on which the thank you note is written, the value of the message is imprinted on children.
An Effective Strategy for Encouraging Unwilling Children
If a child does not want to write thank you notes (especially after an exciting time like a birthday or Christmas), implement the simple rule that a toy cannot be played with or used (or worn or read) until the proper thank you note has been written for it. This does emphasize the item-based thank you note, but it helps get the habit going. Thank you notes don’t have to be written immediately after an event, but the next day is as good a time as any to start.
For Four Rules on Writing Thank You Notes, click here
For Touchy Subjects for a Grateful Writer, click here.
For Suggestions and Strategies For Thank You Notes, click here
Lisa Noel Chrisman - Lisa Noel Chrisman has been having adventures from a very young age with a variety of fun and interesting companions. She graduated from ...
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